Personal Accountability- The Hope in The Wreckage We Cause

Justification becomes easily embedded into out minds as a faulty defense mechanism. I believe our minds access it as a tool to delay the pain associated with humbling ourselves and the effort required to change. In the moment, it seems far less strenuous to build our lives on foundations of justifications- until those fabrications inevitably fall to pieces, and hand-sewn situations are too tarnished with pain to salvage.

We can only avoid the alarming parts of ourselves until they ring so loudly that no falsities could possibly drown them out. If we continue to preoccupy our minds in the chaos inflicted by the denial of wrongdoings, our effectiveness begins to diminish. Reflections are obstructed in disorderly minds just as they are in rough waters. Opportunities for growth can easily be left by the wayside and our abilities to contribute to our communal responsibilities as tenants of Earth can be hindered. If were not careful we can easily slip from ignorance all the way into the opposite side of the spectrum. Self-hatred.

We are but human and unfortunately just as accessible to poor decision making as we are to morally resonating judgments. Wrong doing is unpreventable. There will be times we omit things and ignore compassion out of self-obsession. We will sometimes act in unsettling ways unfamiliar to even our own understanding. Ironically, we tend to cause the most harm when we get in those pride-fueled moods in which we think we have a good grasp on life. It is typically then that life ejects us into some sort of circumstance that intentionally tears away the illusions of who we believe we are and gives us an opportunity to move towards who can become. It hurts to look back in disappointment on actions negligent of what you stand for. Self-reflection is self-shattering when it needs to be. It is intended to be used as a navigator in the direction you must move forward in.

Generally, accepting responsibility for acting like a rotten person and making amends for poor choices is associated with correspondingly nasty consequences. There can be physical consequence faced immediately; karma-induced aftermath to come. Sunsets are rarely in view as we hug the individual(s) we harmed in mutual forgiveness. They may not care to give us the time of day when offered amends. We should try to avoid expectations on their reactions. They have rights to any and all emotions they may hold on to, and our responsibility includes respecting whoever we've influenced.

Fret not if the initial peace you inherited from being honest and taking ownership of the situation is temporarily replaced with regret. Regret after error is a hopeful reminder that our morals are still intact. We aim to only allow the regret to pass through long enough to accelerate us into making changes that communicate the love and respect we hold for everything in existence, including ourselves. We also have every right to process through any and all emotions associated with our actions. We are growing. We are experiencing the difficulties of learning to coexist and that implies error. Moving forward we can hold ourselves accountable to actions more compassionate to the world around us in the honor of those who we’ve damaged in our path. That is learning with love. That is leading with love.

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